Full Metal Handicap

The world has finally gone mad. I’m not sure when it happened. I imagine probably whilst Loose Women is on at lunchtimes on ITV. Most people find other things to do around then.

The usually liberal land of Sweden has surprised me today by being extra liberal. A man has officially been declared disabled due to addiction to Heavy Metal. So he pockets an additional £65 per week in benefits and time off work to a) go to concerts, b) buy cds, and c) rehearse with his band. Apparently the disability began by listening to Sabbath’s Paranoid in the early seventies.

I have a confession to make. It’s true. I’m addicted to fast cars and expensive gadgets. Now how do I get myself Swedish citizenship?