Hairdressing and being cool

I hate having my haircut – almost as much as the small child who was screaming his lungs out in the seat at the other end of the salon. Actually, I think I might hate it more. I’m not sure why, I just always have. Back in my teens, at the height of Grunge, I grew my hair long, but the more I think about it the more I think it was less about rebellion against the system and identifying with my idols, and more about laziness and fear. I view haircuts like the phone bill – a stressful but necessary quarterly occurence. Sean Hughes summed it up well:

“You go into the hairdresses and he says, ‘how would you like it cut?’ – quietly please. You then sit there as he completely destroys your hair, then has the audacity to show you in the mirror what he’s done. All the time you’re thinking, ‘I look like Kenny dalgliesh in the ’80s’, and ‘Maybe I can cancel all my appointments for the next 6 weeks til it grows back’, but what you say is ‘that’s great, have a tip'” – Sean Hughes: Thirty Somehow 

You see it’s like a trendy club I’m not invited to. For a start they always play Radio 1 or some local commercial radio station far too loudly. I sat there for 50 minutes today and didn’t recognise a single ‘song’. They play it so it appeals to their trendy club-goer clientel, and that’s just not me at all. It’s meant to make you feel good and confident in your personal grooming – again not me. All around me stylists were chatting with their customers, but not me. To be honest I hate chit-chat from hairdressers, but like when the survey woman doesn’t approach you on the street, you feel like a failure that they’re not even bothering with you.

Finally there’s the friendliness. Everyone who came in asked for their stylist by name – I have trouble remembering when I last had mine cut (why do they always embarass you by asking that first, and in such an amazed way – really?!? 3 months, eh?), let alone who did it. They say ‘hi’ like old friends, and I’m the odd one out, left outside the gang of trendy people. 

Still, I got my haircut. It’s nice. And now I don’t have to go through that again for at least another 3 months.