Shrink Wrap

People shrink with age, it’s a fact. I know this because it says so here in the New York Times, so it must be true. And this is a worry, because a few days ago I got a whole year older.

I’m not too scared, because at 6’3 I can afford to lose a little bit of height but height’s something you’re born with (genetically I mean, otherwise I’m sure ladies would be less inclined to have babies), and it doesn’t seem fair that time could just steal some away. And where does all that stolen height go? Do they use it to make anything useful? I blame some government conspiracy. But I digress…

Don’t get me wrong, I had some absolutely amazing presents from some lovely people, but birthday presents do seem to get smaller as you get older.

Remember back to some of the birthdays you had as a kid, running downstairs to find a massive parcel. Everyone had a bike at some point. You may have had computers, dolls houses, scalextric, train sets, maybe even a television. All big presents.

Now think back to your last birthday. What did you get? Some trendy little gadget? A day out? A gift voucher? All fantastic presents, and very generous, but they don’t need a great deal of wrapping paper (unless Apple have become so keen to sell Ipods that every one comes with a free life-size model of Steve Jobs).

So what’s the idea here? Do presents shrink with age too? Are the NY Times scientists wrong? Do we actually continue to grow with age?

Next time you’re buying a present, put it in a massive box – whether they’re 5 or 55 the recipiant will appreciate the big box and reams of wrapping paper.

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