So here it is, Merry Xmas

Everybody’s having fun. Look to the future now, it’s only just begun.

So Monday I was sitting on the beach at Southwold in Suffolk, in a T-shirt watching families eating ice-cream squinting in the light of the full sun. Fast forward to Friday, and I’m in Clinton’s Cards in Bath and trying to find wedding cards in the vast array of Christmas tack, listening to songs about Snowmen. And it’s not just the card shops, who you can almost forgive for touting Christmas a little earlier – it’s their business afterall. No. I went for a nice vanilla latte in Costa Coffee, and here it is again. Musak designed to make me feel festive, to want to snuggle in front of a cozy fire, pinning up my stocking for Santa, decorating the tree, having spent a day spending the Gross Domestic Product of a small West European Country on presents for friends and family.

IT’S NOVEMBER THE 3RD. IT’S NOT BEEN BONFIRE NIGHT YET!!!

Sorry to shout. But really. Surely the men in white coats would be round to ask a few questions if I were seen putting up my tree. I’m sure the local Parish Council would write to me if I put a set of outdoor lights on my roof on November the 3rd, perhaps depicting all the reindeer, and switched them on. Yet I’m supposed to get all festive with my coffee, and start sending my cards – there’s only 52 days to go afterall.

Is there some convention about November the 1st? Some sort of UN-brokered treaty perhaps, about Christmas promotions not starting til November 1st? I woke up this morning and an unsuitably perky ‘Wool’ and ‘Worth’ were ignoring the glorious sunshine coming through the window and singing along to Slade peddling Woolworth’s Christmas offers.

I know there’ll soon be Cadbury Cream Eggs in the shops, but I forgive that because I like them. But please, save Christmas for another few days. But maybe this is what the church wants – a 2 month celebration of the birth of Christ, allowing us time to commemorate the Messiah’s coming by buying complete and utter tack from shops we never go in, for people we rarely see for the rest of the year. Pah! Humbug!

Just to prove I’m not a grumpy old man, may I take this opportunity to wish everybody a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. Also a Happy Easter, and Happy Birthday.