The Post of Christmas Present: Part 2

We’re not big on ecumenical conversations in our house, if I’m honest. As a child I liked ringing the bells of my grandparents church, but that was because I could work out how to play ‘Colours of Day’ using the 8 paddles that worked the bells. At school I can remember OfSted coming and commenting on the lack of any religious content in assemblies, and the following inspection a head of year was nervously sent up in front of us and the inspectors in an assembly to lecture us on the ‘good Samaritan’ and ‘oranges’. It also didn’t help being taught RE by a semi-retired woodwork teacher who, on broaching Judaism remarked that he thought one child in the class was Jewish because of his nose.

Like everyone, however, all ecumenical matters are addressed in late-night conversations:

[11:30pm, getting ready for bed]

Me: You know Paul?
Sarah: Which Paul?
Me: The one who wrote to the Corinthians.
Sarah: Um [clearly intrigued]… y-es…
Me: Did he know the Corinthians, or did he just write to them those few times unannounced?
Sarah: Well, he was originally called Saul…
Me: So, do you think he actually started his letter with, ‘Hi, it’s Paul. I’ve recently changed my name and thought you should update your address book’?
Sarah: Um… [looking disapprovingly] No.
Me: Oh, okay. But who did he address the letter to? You can’t just send a letter to a whole town. Not unless you photocopy it, but then you’d need loads of stamps…
Sarah: They didn’t have stamps in those days.
Me: No. But you know what I mean. I mean, he was writing to them generally, so do you think they just read his letter out loud in the middle on Corinth or something?
Sarah: [Clearly trying to steer the conversation away from this subject] Maybe?
Me: So, he wrote to them a bit like the Readers Digest, all out of the blue, and they read it aloud to everybody?
Sarah: Well, no. He was on a long journey of missionary work and was writing home…
Me: What? Like a postcard?
Sarah: Sort of.
Me: Oh… Okay.

[short pause of hopeful silence from Sarah]

Me: And another thing.
Sarah: Yes [sighing]
Me: If Mary and Joseph had a donkey and Joseph was a carpenter…
Sarah: Yes [at this point, I’m sure she rolled her eyes]
Me: Why didn’t he knock-them-up a cart of something to make the journey easier. Then they could have taken sleeping bags or something.
Sarah: Well, they were poor and…
Me: Okay. But he could have offered to do odd jobs at the hotel if they could have found him a room. Some floor boards or fencing or something like that…

The angry_cellist blog: The home of fine, in-depth discussion of the true story of Christmas.

PS If you’re taking part in my Christmas cookalong, you need to top up the water in the sprouts, and take the turkey out of the freezer to give it a few days to defrost.