The song stays the same

Normally it’s Bristol. Sometime’s Heathrow. Today it’s Gatwick.

There’s that old saying that after a while all airports start to look the same. That certainly seems to be the case here, where somebody thought it necessary to put “you are in the South Terminal of Gatwick UK” permanently on the Departures Board. Which isn’t working.

The thing is, after a while, you begin to realise all airports act the same too. Every check-in takes 4 times longer when you have a cello. Every member of staff will act as if they’ve never seen a musical instrument before. Every cabin crew member will stop you and say “I’m not sure that’s small enough to be hand luggage”.

I know there are reasons for it all. That every building is as grey and uninspired as a Tory Minister’s Y-fronts. I know there’s a reason we still have to check-in 2 hours before international flights even though we’re just pressing a few keys on a computer screen to do so.

It’s because dull and tedious makes us calm. Familiar surroundings make us feel at ease, and therefore it’s less likely the plane will crash. Or something like that anyway.

It’s also certain I’ll be carrying a second boarding pass with ‘cello’ spelt wrong, or worse still called a banjo or guitar. This, though familiar and usual does not put me at ease, it just makes me feel a bit daft. Still, it’s becoming part of the grey routine.